


Heartbreak

by Posiesuperior



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 07:17:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18960490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Posiesuperior/pseuds/Posiesuperior
Summary: Heartbreak Isn't always tears and packing away a box of her things. It can be a highway late at night and thinking about the way she used to sing. It can be an empty aisle in the grocery store, looking at her favourite chocolate bar and not wanting to buy it anymore. - Courtney Peppernell





	Heartbreak

I have been heartbroken twice in my life by the same girl in a four-month spam the things Penelope Park can do to me. 

The firsts time she broke my heart it hurt I cried a lot, I hated her for what she did but she still always managed to somehow be there for me without actually being there. 

We still saw each other at school every day and we shared classes we went to parties and got drunk together so I didn’t fully have her the way I wanted but I at least in some way still had her in my life.

A breakup is still a breakup though and I needed to move on from the idea that she’s still mine so I gave her back her hoodies, threw away the toothbrush she kept in my room, I took the pictures out of the frames but I couldn’t bear to throw them out, a part of still hoped I could win her back, a part of me didn’t want to let go of the memories we made because those were the best I had. 

So I kept the movie tickets, polaroids, mixtapes, macaroni necklaces, and homemade gifts in box labelled Penelope and Josie I put it in the back corner of my closet so Lizzie wouldn’t find it. 

She wanted me to burn all the memories and belongings of Satan and I told her I would because she thinks I hate Penelope but the truth is I still love her I made the box so if one day we stumble back to each other I can pull it out and reframe the photos and display her macaroni art to show how talented my girlfriend is. 

That’s what I thought heartbreak was, tears and packing away a box of her old things but never hurting too much because wherever I looked, Penelope was lurking in my peripherals and making snide comments at me and my sister finding any excuse to pull me back with a kiss and I was fine with it because the attention she gave me hope of a second chance.

Four months later I learn that isn’t the case, I’m sitting in Penelope’s old room crying into the sheets that still smell like her lavender laundry soap and vanilla shampoo and I can’t take the fact that the love of my life is now in Belgium on the other side of the world and I don’t know when I’ll see her again. 

This is a different heartbreak this isn’t safely tucking our stuff away and accepting the fact she isn’t mine but still seeing her every day and kissing her now and then, this is not knowing if I’ll ever see her again and wondering if I’ll forget the sound of her voice, the smell of her clothes or the way she used to smile at me, this is the heartbreak were everything I do reminds me of her. 

M.G took me out for a drive last night so we could talk and I could get my mind of things and all I could think about is the countless times we snuck out to drive with the windows rolled down and the music turned up way too loud screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs. 

xxx

“And I’d love it if we made it  
Yes I’d love it if we made it” 

She’s bobbing her head and her raven curls are all over her face singing at the top of her lungs her voice is cracking when we stop at red lights or stop signs she air guitars and blows me kiss which makes me blush. 

I laugh at this side of Penelope because if I told kids at school that don't know her well they wouldn't believe me if I said Penelope Park likes to cuddle up to me, go on cheesy romantic dates, or air guitar while singing her heart out I think that’s what I love about this side of Penelope is that M.G and Hope see a bit of it every now and then but this is the only side I when I’m around her it makes me feel special like I bring this soft side out.

“Come on sing along Josie”

“I don’t know the lyrics”

“Yes you do come on live a little” I cave in and try my best but I can only sing out bits and pieces of the chorus. 

“And I’d love it if we made it   
Yes I’d love it if we made it”

We laugh in sing for the next three minutes as the song dies out I kiss her cheek and grab her hand.

“I’d love it if we made it,” I tell her.

“Yeah I’d love it if we made it,” she says back.

xxx

This becomes our song, not the one we slow dance to in Penelope’s room late at night with her fairy lights this is the one we scream on cars rides and jump around to at parties. 

It becomes the song I’ve played on repeat since the breakup to give me hope and to reminisce on the good times between us.

Now it’s the song that when I hear it my heart drops and I try my best not to cry because all I think about are the good times and I don’t know if I’ll ever get a moment like that with her again.

M.G and I end up the grocery store to get snacks for movie night tonight. Whenever I used to go to the grocery store no matter what I was getting or how much of a rush I was in I always used to get an Aero bar for Penelope it was her favourite chocolate bar in her words it was “simple with a twist”.

Something she wasn’t she was a mess of interests, emotions, and personalities all mixed up into one girl, one girl I love.

It always used to make her smile when I’d knock on her door to give it to her or slide it to her at lunch she’d always break me off a few pieces. 

xxx

I open my mouth before she has time to break off a piece for herself. 

“You should start buying one for yourself because soon I’m going to stop sharing,” she says as she feeds me a piece of chocolate. 

“Sharing is caring Penelope didn’t you learn that in kindergarten.”

“Yeah fine I’ll share my chocolate as long as I don’t have to share you.” she winks at and I laugh at how cheesy and cringy this girl can get sometimes I lean in for a kiss which lasts longer than it maybe should have because I start to hear our friends clear their throats.

“Really in front of my salad,” Hope says as she waves her fork around her bowl.

“Yes” is all Penelope gives her before she grabbing my hand and pulling me out of lunch and upstairs.

xxx

Then we broke up and I still gave her one I couldn’t help myself I knew I couldn’t just give it to her in person though because I’m supposed to hate her so I’d slide it under her door or put it in her locker and watch her from a distance as she smiles and splits it with Hope. 

Now she is really gone and I still want to buy one as I’m standing in front of the display case but I refrain I don’t know if it would melt in the mail there or not I want to buy one for me but all it will do is bring back old memories that would definitely not help with my broken heart right now.

It’s hard to get used to the fact she’s not here anymore it’s hard to accept the fact I had all of her than some of her and now all of a sudden none of her.

I have had my heart broken twice and I can say that heartbreak isn’t always tears and packing away a box of their things. It can be a highway late at night and thinking about the way she used to sing. It can be an empty aisle in the grocery store, looking at her favourite chocolate and not wanting to buy it anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Feedback is always welcome. Feel free to comment or kudos. I already have next weeks written its a little shorter but cute posie looks for ice cream . Song is Love It If We Made It by The 1975.


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